Among the many tasks when planning your wedding is choosing your witnesses. It’s not like picking your wedding dress, this is a decision you must make together. It’s important that the bride and groom agree on the witnesses they choose. You might even be surprised at who you ultimately pick as your witnesses. This is why it’s important to make a careful decision. This is a delicate topic and some guests might even expect to be chosen, but the ultimate decision is up to you. Without further ado, here are a few useful tips to make choosing your witnesses a breeze.
1. Brainstorm to organise your thoughts
To start, write down all the names that come to mind in a little notebook where you write down everything regarding the planning of your wedding. Write down the names of your best friends, closest family members, people who have been a positive influence in your life. Next to each name write down a reason or a few reasons why you do and/or don’t want them as a witness.
2. Choose the witnesses together
The witnesses are for both of you, so the idea of "you choose one and I will choose the other" may result in one of the chosen witnesses not really being liked by one of you. So choose the witnesses together. This is your wedding; it should be perfect and to your liking.
If you choose two members from the same group, such as your group of friends, it would be a good idea to explain your reasons to the rest of the group. You can also give the rest of your group roles of their own, such as bridesmaids, best men, and choose friends to do the readings in the ceremony.
Entrust a friend to go with you to buy the wedding shoes or ask them for their ideas for your wedding. Get them involved if you notice they have an interest. This way no one feels left out. If you really can’t choose, you can pick names from a hat and let your friends know that’s how you chose because you love them all equally.
3. Don’t feel pressured to choose someone
Make sure to notice the difference between a reason and excuse. Just because you have a godfather, doesn’t mean you should choose him as your witness. You shouldn’t feel the need to reward anyone just because, choose someone you truly want as your witness. It’s perfectly normal to feel a bit of pressure to choose a certain friend or family member as your witness. While you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, it’s your day and you should choose who you really want as your witness or witnesses.
4. Choose an appropriate number of witnesses
Once you’ve got a short list of the people you want as your witnesses, you’re almost ready. In both religious and civil ceremonies, you need to have two witnesses, though you can always choose more witnesses if you want to. Try not to go overboard; keep in mind they will all need to sign the registrar, so the more witnesses the longer the ceremony.
In short, choosing the witnesses for your wedding should be pleasant and even enjoyable, so don't get stressed out too much by it. One you’ve chosen your witnesses you’ll be able to check one more task off your list and get on with picking out wedding favours, or whatever is left on your long list.